Cartoon People

The issue of friendships - specifically friendships that are developed online - has been on my mind a lot lately. Is it really possible to make friends with a person whom you've never met in-person? I'd like to think so, but there is a tremendous potential to be hurt or betrayed in such a friendship. Experience has taught me that even between people who consider themselves close friends, miscommunication via text is easy and can lead to the end of the relationship. Even more experience has taught me that it's entirely too easy for online friends to just drift away as they find other things to do.

This morning I remembered an incident that happened about 6 years ago. I was leading a smallish guild in the game Ultima Online. It was mostly people who enjoyed hanging out together in-game. I had noticed one of the guys hadn't been in game for over a week, so the next time I saw his name light up on a chat program, I sent a message asking if everything was all right. His girlfriend responded, saying that they had decided to stop playing because real life was more important. I told her I completely understood and wished them well. I said that I was just worried since I hadn't heard from him in a while. She replied that "real people are more important than cartoon people".

It felt like a slap in the face. I was not concerned about the character in the game, but rather the person behind the character. It was a real person - not a "cartoon" that was asking if they were ok. And yet - because the only interaction I had with them was via computer, I was deemed not real. It always amazes me that people will treat others online as nothing more than the pixels displayed on the screen.

And so I now walk a tight rope. I can't help but think somewhere in the back of my mind that the people I talk to may be lying to me about themselves or may really just view my worth as whatever character I happen to be playing in whichever game I'm logged on to at the moment. But there are people that I do let myself care for and consider friends even though I've never seen their face. I can only hope they realize that I am more than pixels and computer graphics - just as much as I hope they realize I value them as real people, too.