Rollercoaster

ok - I know it's been a week since my last update - and what a week it's been.

Remember that pregnancy test I last wrote about? Well, it was wrong. I took another on Tuesday and though the results were very faint, it was positive. Subsequent tests since then have also been faint but positive. But I was also getting cramps like I don't remember from my other pregnancies. There were indications that I may start bleeding. Because the test results remained faint, I started to worry that something was wrong and the baby isn't developing properly.

I worry very well - it's a family trait.

Through all of this I've tried to tell myself to just not think about it - that I can't stop whatever will happen and all I can do is take care of myself. Sometimes it works, too. But what works even better is speding time doing things with the little munchkin I already have. We've made pinecone birdfeeders. We've played games. We've cuddled while watching Beauty and the Beast. We've read stories - it's so wonderful when she tries to read to me! But perhaps the best is when I do start to get worried and sad. That's when she comes up, gives me a big hug, and says "It'll be ok, Mommy".

And I know that no matter what happens - if the pregnancy goes well or if there are problems - in the end, it will be ok.